How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You—And What to Do About It

Have you ever noticed that women can be quite manipulative? Mothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, lovers, and mistresses all know how to do it, but I would like to focus specifically on games that women play on their significant others. So guys, pray to your Heavenly Father to always protect you from falling into the hands and lures of a perfect female manipulator because when you do, you might not be able to come out unscarred. You think you are a strong man? Just wait until you encounter her. In this piece I intend to come to men’s rescue by pointing out those little ways in which they could be coming under manipulative attacks, even when they don’t recognize it. In almost everything you do, you get the praise reward. And you know what? Your head starts to swoon and you start thinking you are the greatest guy on earth.

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Calli Tzani-Pepelasi does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. It may sound like a scene straight out of a horror movie, but statistically you are not that unlikely to end up on a date with a psychopath. It is estimated that about 1 in people are psychopaths — similar to the number of people who are teachers.

When you are in a healthy relationship, everything revolves around mutual love, care and trust. Your partner understands and respects you for.

He plays the victim in every scenario. He refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. If you fought the night before, he will wake up with a smile and act like nothing happened. If you catch him in a lie, he will act like he only got the story wrong because he was confused. He has an excuse for every single thing he does wrong. Not his. Never his. He accuses you of being too emotional. If you get pissed at something he said, he will act like it was only a joke. If he screws you over, he will act like he never meant for it to happen.

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Anyone who tries that hard to be what you want has a hidden agenda. Instead of being understanding, he sounds upset or pissed off. He jokes about things that are hurtful to you. He has your best interests at heart, right? He wants to protect you. He places his issues onto you.

It’s a tactic manipulative people use, and is in fact a form of abuse. If you are dating someone with dark triad personality traits passive in your life but they tend to be very high achieving women,” Neo told Business Insider.

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Mariyam Ahmed, a Toronto-based psychologist. It can reveal itself in various ways, but a key determining indicator of emotional manipulation is consistency. If you spot emotionally controlling behaviour once or twice in your relationship, it might not be evidence of a larger pattern of behaviour. This is what distinguishes it from a normal argument. Emotional manipulation can be hard to spot. In the context of a relationship, we want to believe that our partner has our best interests in mind, and are therefore more likely to overlook warning signs, said Ahmed.

But if someone is constantly making you feel badly, there are things you should look for. Someone who is emotionally manipulating you may do so in subtle ways, like judging and criticizing your actions. They might make a mean comment about your choice of friends, for example. Another sign of emotional manipulation is trying to create feelings of embarrassment or guilt.

Who would say that?

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It is quite ironic that in a relationship we end up being manipulated by the people we love the most. In a relationship, we are supposed to receive care, love, and support. We all have been manipulated at one time or the other; that is human nature. However, when the people we love manipulate us, it is heartbreaking. You may be in love with your woman or your boyfriend, and unexpectedly you realize you are doing things for him or her that you would normally not agree to.

This is an indication that you have fallen prey to a manipulator.

You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence.

Narcissists are skilled at making people like them. They can be very alluring and charming and exciting to date. In fact, in one study, it took seven meetings for people to see through their likable veneer. In a dating situation, a narcissist has greater incentive to win you over — sadly, sometimes all the way to the altar. Narcissists are often physically attractive, charismatic, and sexually appealing.

Their company can be pleasurable and never boring. Although some narcissists seek long term relationships, others are expert game-players. Their goal is to win. The closer you get, the more they equivocate.

Here’s How to Know If You’re Being Manipulated in a Relationship

Subscriber Account active since. Manipulative people can be found in every walk of life. You might meet them at work where they take credit for your achievements, or in social situations where they are controlling, demanding, and even abusive. Knowing the right words to deal with these people can give you the strength to stand up to them or walk away.

Being manipulated can be a painful experience. Recognize the signs of a manipulative woman so that you can take your life back and not be a victim.

Some of the “early signs of subtle manipulation include not saying what you really mean and not showing what you really feel. In fact, they could even be “motivated by a desire to be polite, harmonious or non-confrontational. This is because “they are usually veiled attempts to get what we want, whether that is love, approval, connection or avoidance of conflict,” she explains.

Here’s why intention doesn’t always trump results: “They do damage because they are a form of deceit. In other words, this type of behavior may seem innocent and harmless, but it can actually create distance between partners because “there is a lack of honesty in the dynamic, a pretending of sorts, which leads to a false sense of connection,” says Winters.

As previously mentioned, subtle and unintentional forms of manipulation in relationships are extremely common, and we’ve probably all been there before. I mean, what kind of game is that? And while just as subtle as the first form, intentionally manipulative people tend to be better at hiding it to get what they want. Some of the biggest red flags include the following:. This all functions to speed up the pace of a relationship so you become dependent on their affection.

It’s all about making you feel insecure in the relationship while also trusting them over yourself. This is problematic because it is sending you the message that you don’t matter.

22 signs your partner is insecure, manipulative and totally not good for you

When it comes to love, our society romanticizes intense, controlling relationships and controlling behavior so much that it can be hard to recognize them for what they are. We have centuries of romantic literature and other art — from Wuthering Heights to Twilight to many other controlling husband and partner archetypes — telling us that real relationships are all about obsession, that real love is all-consuming, and that people who are truly in love have no boundaries or separate lives.

But while all that obsession may make for an absorbing romance novel plot, in real life, control, manipulation and obsession aren’t signs of true, passionate love — they are signs that your partner is controlling and manipulative. Many of us have been educated about the signs of a potentially abusive partner , and while escalation from control into outright abuse is something to be concerned about, the facts are that being in a controlling and manipulative relationship that never escalates into abuse can be hurtful and damaging, too.

Two women arguing on the street Emotional manipulation can undermine close relationships and leave the manipulation victim feeling.

We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. Codependents have trouble being direct and assertive and may use manipulation to get their way. This approach can be used to break a date, promise, or agreement. Manipulators often voice assumptions about your intentions or beliefs and then react to them as if they were true in order to justify their feelings or actions, all the while denying what you said in the conversation.

Fake concern is sometimes used to undermine your decisions and confidence in the form of warnings or worry about you. Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail is abusive manipulation that may include the use of rage, intimidation, threats, shame, or guilt.

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